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  • CONFLICT
  • HEAL
    • 4 KEYS
  • About US
    • Contact
    • Our Founder
    • Our Location

What is the courage to be kind?

1/2/2021

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What is the definition of Kindness?

1/2/2021

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8 KEYS to resolve CONFLICTS

4/17/2020

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How can we resolve long-standing conflicts?

Conversations : That’s what’s needed. 
OR 
​Walk away : Sometimes, the divide is too wide.

Reflect on what you learned.
Look for the gratitude inside of you.
Consider how YOU were guided
to make better choices.
8 SIMPLE (not easy) Steps to resolve conflict.
  1. ​Courage. Everyone has to be ready. Be willing to listen. Be willing to share your point of view. Your story matters. So do the other stories.
  2. Openness. Vulnerability takes strength. Having difficult conversations is not easy. Be open to hearing what others have to say. Be open to sharing your heart with others. Be open to new possibilities and insights.
  3. Nurturing. True conversations have the power to heal. Be kind to yourself. And others.
  4. Fragile. Tough conversations open wounds. Being blamed for something you never did seems unfair. Screaming in the silence is unfair. We all have triggers. Some we know about. Some we don’t.
  5. Learn:  Feedback. If instead of arguing, yelling, and abusing others, we consider other points of view. Feedback – instead of criticism. You don’t have to agree. Your opinion of you matters. More than all the other opinions combined. You matter. --- Feedback or Criticism? You decide. Your choice matters.
  6. Inspiring: Facing our fears and demons is rewarding. We never know what another person has been through. Even when they share their story.
  7. Compassion: Find a gentle place for yourself and others. Sometimes this means walking away from those who are mean and cruel. While it’s important to consider different perspectives and back-stories IT’S MOST IMPORTANT – do not ever – I mean NEVER – allow others to mistreat you, shame you, blame you. Be kind. Be strong. Be Courageous. Kindness takes courage.
  8. Together- Tough times need tender hearts. At the end of the day, ask yourself one question, HOW was I kind to myself – today?​
Share your ideas and opinions. Click on COMMENTS. We'd love to hear from you.
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HELP - Lessons learned from my dog

11/13/2018

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Over the years, Bailey taught me some important lessons. By incorporating these lessons into my own life, I not only empower myself, but I help to empower others to live healthy, happy and satisfying lives.
Bailey, faithful companion & teacher ​
When I'd be in less than an ideal mood, he didn't care. He'd sit at my feet and happily let me pet him; his simple presence helping me to calm down. Like the best human listeners, Bailey didn't have to say anything - he just had to be present. Unlike people, dogs seem to have an ability to effortlessly be in the moment, fully present. In relating to others, people often try to come up with solutions rather than really listening and hearing what's being expressed, verbally and nonverbally. As a coach and trainer, I am full of ideas which I love to share. However, I have learned that sometimes what is really needed is to simply sit back and listen to and receive another's story.
The 10 lessons
  1. Always be kind to others. Bailey wasn't an aggressive dog and was open to both new people and other animals. The lesson? Only bark when dinner is late or when in danger!
  2. Make friends wherever you go (you never know when you might get a bonus treat from a stranger!)
  3. Listen and be present when others have a story they need to tell. Often all someone needs is to know they are not alone.
  4. Take life lightly. Go for walks, nap when you need to, spend time in the sunshine and find time to play!
  5. Love others unconditionally. Fully accepting another person right where they are, as they are, is what unconditional love is all about. Dogs can teach people a lot in this regard.
  6. Chase things that are interesting to you and accept treats (but not too many!)
  7. Be patient. Often, when I'd wake up in the morning, Bailey would already be up. Many mornings he was probably anxious to go outside. Yet, he'd be patient and not bother me until I was ready to let him out.
  8. Accept help. As Bailey was getting ready to leave this earth, he had a couple of accidents. That wasn't his usual nature, and it was obvious to us that he felt he'd done something wrong. But we cleaned him up and reassured him with pats and hugs that all was well. At some point we all need a helping hand.
  9. Say thanks. Bailey thanked us every day for taking good and loving care of him by returning that love to us ten-fold.
  10. When it's time to go, leave peacefully. Bailey passed away as he lived. Gently and with grace. Over the past year, there were a couple of other times we thought Bailey was ready to go, but he surprised us and hung in there. Every day Bailey was on earth was a gift to our family. His friendship was steadfast and his love and loyalty to us never wavered. And when it was time, he simply rested under that tree and closed his eyes.
This little bundle of love left this earth, but not my heart. Bailey will stay there forever.
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Listening: A lost art?

11/4/2018

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We all have stories.
​Some to remember, and some to forget. Right?
We all matter. We all want to be heard.
To bridge the gap
and stop the destruction of divisiveness
We need to COMMUNICATE differently.
People have different opinions. ​
​That doesn’t mean they are bad or wrong. I like butter on my popcorn. Especially when someone else buys and shares. Other people don’t like butter. Some people don’t even like popcorn – if you can believe that.
If I listen even when I disagree.
Maybe I'll learn something 
AND
Then perhaps you’ll listen to me.
Consider this response:
​I may not agree with your opinion. I will agree that you have the right to speak. You have different experiences than I do. When I listen, I can and will learn. I still might not agree with your opinion. I will always do my best to honor your opinion. AND I  will always consider you a dear friend. Your heart is in the right place. We all need to feel heard.
How often do we just need someone to listen to us? 
​Recently I bumped into someone I haven’t seen for a few years. During our conversation I asked about her husband.
“He passed away last year. We were married for 28 years.”
That opened up an opportunity for me to listen. She shared stories about how he died. We connected. She felt heard. She even thanked me for caring about her. And – we even danced a few times.
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Remember people count. 
Dance with Democrats. 
Dance with Republicans. 
Dance with Independents.
And if you can’t dance physically, 
dance with your eyes, your heart,
​and your kind loving spirit.
Just DANCE. ​
Creating a kinder world through writing, music and
​the power of Encouragement
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